Comic hero Alexei Sayle dons his tight suit to deliver high-octane monologues and off-the-wall observations in a six-part series propounding his slanted view of the world. See today's choices.

Alexei Sayle finds out what it's like to be a sex object, uncovers the mysteries of retailing, and advises on the best way to leave a porn shop as he continues his off-the-wall observations.

Alexei Sayle explains how to look like an authentic expert while visiting an art gallery, reveals the true meaning behind some of Shakespeare's works, and takes a look at censorship of the press.

Alexei Sayle reveals that he has been the victim of an alien abduction, but comforts himself with the fact that at least it was a business-class kidnapping rather than the slower, economy-rate snatch. He also delivers insights into celebrity marriages and how they can be a wise career move, particularly if you marry the director-general of the BBC.

Alexi Sayle offers his services to the government as minister for curries, claiming that he would ensure every curry has the "same mouth-burning strength" from Glasgow to Guildford

In the last of the series, Alexei Sayle considers what might have happened if the career of Bobby Charlton had coincided with penicillin's invention and the building of Hadrian's Wall.